Dating

June 8, 2014

So, I’ve reached one of those moments again where I feel as though I need to get down some of my thoughts.

I’ve recently been on a few dates, none of them I would consider serious. Today however, I went to this one with intent.

I recently started up a profile on eHarmony. I’ve had a lot of results from this website, so I recommend it. It has it’s gripes but I find it a very good online dating app. I started talking to a girl last weekend, and she seems to tick all of the boxes. We have spent most of the week texting during the day, and it seemed positive. She asked me to meet the other night but I had plans to play CS:GO. We arranged it for tonight, and I was…nervous. 

Officially, I’ve been out of the dating scene for the best part of 7 years. I’ve only ever had one proper girlfriend. Weirdly, I wouldn’t consider what we went through as ‘dating’. I don’t want to go too far into it because I’m over it now, so I suppose I’ve never really been on a proper date…

This evening, I donned my best shirt & Jeans combo. Spent an hour on my appearance, but none of that could have prepared me for the moment she walked up to me in the bar.

She was stunning, like, out of my league stunning. She was stylish, pretty, had beautiful eyes and beamed confidence. I have no idea what perfume she was wearing but it was nice. I had prepared myself for the intro conversation, things to bring up if there should be any of that awkward silence. It started off well, neither of us could shut up until the food came. Questions for each other, I was making her laugh, she was making me laugh. We had a lot of things in common, and different hobbies to drive the conversation. 

After we ate, there were moments where there would be 5 seconds of silence every now and again. Everything that I had prepared for those moment’s I had forgotten. I had a planned list of questions ready, and all of them had gone. I was enjoying the flow of the conversation so much before dinner that I had forgotten them all. I mean, it wasn’t intense long periods of silence, but were those moments that were noticeable. 

The date lasted 2 hours, and it flew by. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the night, I loved every minute of it! But, the part that I really don’t enjoy is the aftermath. I’m sitting here analysing everything I said, and thinking of things I could have said instead, or said differently. I’m sitting here wondering at what point should I speak to her and ask for date two? I’m also afraid of the answer, so I’m hesitant. 

I would love a second date with her, but I can’t help but feel as though I made too many mistakes and didn’t express myself in a way that deserves one. 

I also doubt very much that anyone as stunning as that is going to come my way any time soon.

Bollocks.

 

 

 

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